With the kids off to school, the house settled into a quiet stillness. But with the solitude, came the sense of foreboding I couldn’t seem to shake. I filled my coffee cup again and hoped the despair I was feeling hadn’t been evident as I gave each of them a hug and sent them on their way.
What were we going to do? I thought, over and over. I couldn’t get past the realization that David had lost his job and fear of the unknown was overwhelming me. Like an insidious cancer, it was beginning to consume me.
David’s departure from the company he’d worked for had come as a stupendous shock and we were reeling from the blow, desperately trying to catch a sense of equilibrium. How long could we go without a paycheck? How fast would our savings dwindle? Where would we live?
I put my coffee mug on the kitchen counter, pulled out the stool to sit down and glanced over at my Bible waiting expectantly to begin my morning devotions. I knew somewhere in that inspired sacred book there had to be a source of comfort for this situation as there had been so many times before.
Opening my Bible, I began to flip through the pages until I came to the Book of Psalms. I remembered King David of the Old Testament had written many of the psalms and knew he’d found comfort for the trials he faced so long ago. Perhaps there was solace this morning for me as well.
As I scanned the pages, my eyes fell upon Psalm 91. “We live within the shadow of the Almighty, sheltered by the God who is above all gods. This I declare, that he alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God and I am trusting him…Now you don’t need to be afraid of the dark anymore nor fear the dangers of the day…”
I don’t need to be afraid. I don’t need to fear what lies ahead. God is my protection and I can trust him to provide for our needs. As I allowed this truth to penetrate my mind and heart, I felt the heavy weight of stress and worry slowly dissipate and a sense of peace and calm replace the cancerous fear. As I read the passage over and over I knew this was my antidote that would counteract the poison that had infiltrated my being. I knew it
would be vital for me to ingest it every morning until God provided the way through this overwhelming ordeal.
As I resumed my meditation, I became aware I needed to focus on being thankful for what we did have and not on what we could lose. To begin with, no one could take away the love we had for each other and for our children. We had the love and support of our church family who would lift us up in prayer as well as close family and friends. Continuing to make my list of things to be thankful for that would help me to have an attitude of gratitude, I realized we were rich in the most important things and they were invaluable.
Karen R. Kilby is a certified personality trainer with CLASServices, Inc. providing Wired That Way workshops and seminars and a speaker for Stonecroft Ministries. Karen has had over thirty personal experience stories published in the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and other Christian publications. She is the author of Becoming a Woman of Purpose, a Thirty-one Day Devotional, addressing relevant issues people struggle with and offering hope for a new outlook on life, shedding light on the need to look beyond the ordinary and encouraging readers to look for God’s involvement in the hum drum of everyday existence. (www.karenkilby.tateauthor.com) The book is also available through Amazon.com and other on-line book providers. Karen was recognized as FamilyTime’s 2010 Woman of Achievement for the Arts and resides in Kingwood, Texas with her husband, David.