Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Head of the House

August 22, 2014 by  
Filed under Monthly Articles


Head of the House

“On the day we were married, I said two things…One, I do. Two, I’m the boss.”

Ralph Kramden

Jackie Gleason masterfully encapsulated many of humanity’s flaws with the “Ralph Kramden” character of the television classic, “The Honeymooners.”

In the episode, “Head of the House,” Ralph told Art Carney’s character Ed Norton that “On the day we were married, I said two things… One, I do. Two, I’m the boss.” This was the humorous product of a centuries’ old mischaracterization of God’s word that is embedded in the fabric of our society.

A little more than two decades later, Carroll O’Connor’s “Archie Bunker” character from the hit TV Show “All In The Family” sent his “dingbat” Edith Bunker running into the kitchen several times to fetch him his beer after a long day’s work. Such humor about our society’s ego problems always made for a good laugh, but the issue that remains is the deviation from what God meant in His word about a man and woman’s place in a household.

In Ephesians 5:22-24, God writes through Paul, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”

The Bible is, of course, the infallible and inerrant word of God—in its proper context.The attitude of altogether too many men, is that they read words of a page without giving any thought to the comparisons Paul makes in this scripture. Worse off, they remember this verse in an improper context, then conveniently forget to lend any weight to what Paul says in the following verses, 25-33: “Husbands love your wife just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having a spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and bones. For this reason a man shall leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Our mission as men must be as servant leaders in our homes, to reflect Christ in every aspect of our lives. To lead without the attributes of Christ leads to ruin. Faithfully following Jesus is not an easy task in a world full of distraction. For a man to earn his wife’s respect, he must go to the Father in prayer and repetition to overcome those distractions, and servantlead his wife to understand that, to you, she is worth fighting for and worth dying for, just as Christ revealed to us that we are worth fighting for and worth dying for. God’s expression of love was sacrifice. He tested Abraham’s love and commitment by telling Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac. God blessed Abraham for his faithfulness and willingness to obey, even though God stopped him from killing Isaac (Genesis 22: 1-12). Later, God demonstrated His love for us in sacrificing His Son Jesus to save us from our sins, but not before teaching us how we should live our lives (Romans 5:8).

If we are going to love our wives and lead them, let it be in love. Servant lead our wives and children through being the first to sacrifice. Let them understand that they are worth your time and effort. We cannot effectively serve God without serving our wives and praying for the wisdom and strength to help meet their spiritual needs. God has created us for His purpose, and it is for this purpose that our every action must be prayerfully considered. We will make mistakes, but through it all our wives and children will know that we are imperfect men following a perfect God. The respect we crave from our wives and children will come as we clothe ourselves in humility and love them as Christ loved us. Do we want to be the head of our house, as God commanded? Do we want to be the one to lead; servant lead, as God commanded? First, we must learn to follow Jesus Christ, by saying, “I do, and Jesus, You are the boss.”


jjspeelmanJ.J. Speelman is a Christian, conservative writer, father, and husband. His articles have appeared in American Thinker and The DC Post. He can be reached at


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