Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Dangerous Daydreams

June 1, 2012 by  
Filed under Daily Manna, Monthly Articles

“. . . for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content.” (Philippians 4:11)

Yes, contentment was a lesson that took me a long time to learn. When I got married, I thought I would be happy to have my own house – a place where I would live and raise my family. My husband chose a corner of his family’s land and built me a house.

At first the house seemed big, when it was just the two of us. We were still working on the walls and ceilings as the babies came. It wasn’t easy to work on the house while we were living in it. Money was needed for doctor appointments and food and car repairs. Finishing up the house was at the bottom of the priority list.

As the kids grew, the house seemed to get smaller and smaller. By the time most of the kids were teenagers, I felt like the walls were bulging. The bathroom was always occupied, sometimes with two or three at the same time.

I began dreaming of living in another house – a BIG HOUSE. Every day we passed some huge captains’ houses. Each one probably had at least twenty rooms, plus extended carriage houses, garages, and barns. If I had one like that, each child could have their own room, with guest rooms besides. We would probably have three or four bathrooms. I could have a big pantry and laundry room. Maybe we could have a library and game room and even an office.

My mind dreamed and dreamed . . .

and my house seemed smaller and smaller.

To make matters worse, one of the prettiest and biggest houses was being sold. I wished for ways to buy it, but in reality, we were barely paying our bills. There was no way we could afford it – ever. But I kept dreaming and grumbling about my little unfinished house.

I knew I wrong.

I admitted that it was a sin,

but my heart didn’t change.

God had His way of teaching me to be content.

We were taking our daughter to college and thought it would be a good time to take a long road trip and make it into a vacation. While sight-seeing, we stayed with friends. What a house! Not having children of their own, they could afford to fix it up however they wished. Whenever they got tired of one decor, they could just go buy new rugs and drapes and furniture.

 “Let’s go shopping! You’re going to love this store.”

Oh wow! My daydreams kicked in. If I had that big carriage house, I could decorate one room in tropical palms and wicker furniture. Another room could be filled with whimsical giraffes and elephants.  Maybe I could decorate the whole place like an old Victorian house. I strolled from one display to another until I saw bed covering made of silk and suede patches. I glanced at the price tag – $2150. 00

WHAT!

(for one blanket?)

My mind sped back to Maine, to our family living in our tiny home in the woods. We could do SO MUCH with $2000. We could buy new shoes for everyone. We could buy a new refrigerator. We could buy a used car for that. We could splurge and do something special with the kids.

I’d never have enough money to own a big captain’s house. I was thankful for my family. I loved where we lived. I wouldn’t trade my family and home for all the money in the world and a fancy house. Why did I ever dream of something more than what God had already given me?

I didn’t want to look at anything else in the store. Tears stung my eyes. I stumbled to an aisle lined with framed art. The pictures of flowers and rivers made me even more homesick. I wanted to go home – to MY home.

For the next few days, I played the role of a polite guest, patiently waiting to return home. As we pulled into our driveway, the feeling of regret of lost years flooded over me. Why did I waste my time dreaming of something else?

I stepped into my kitchen. . .

 

WHAT? Is this my kitchen?

My older children stood there with big grins on their faces. There were linoleum tiles on the floor. New cupboards lined the walls and a light over the sink. My old enamel-topped table had been made into an island, complete with cupboards and electrical outlets.

“Surprise!”

Again the tears flowed.

Lord, I don’t deserve this! I was a grumbling, discontent child, yet you blessed me with a family that loves me and just the home that is best for me. Thank you, Lord.

“Delight thyself also in the Lord, and He shall give thee the desires of thy heart.”  Psalm 37:4 (KJV)

 

Yvonne Beverly Blake has been blessed with an interesting childhood. She has lived in the deserts of Arizona, the tropic islands of the Bahamas, the rugged hills of New York, the farmlands of mid-Maine. Her father was a school teacher and pastor, and her mother was a nurse. Her memory – a virtual parade of settings, experiences, and characters – contributes to her writing.

Yvonne and her husband, Randy raised a family of eight children on the coast of Maine. Their family has been her focus over the last thirty years, giving her storerooms of material to draw from. Striving to do their best, regardless of the opinions of others, they often lived out of step with the rest of the world. Yvonne taught each of her eight children to read. When the youngest was school age, Yvonne taught grades K-3 at a Christian school for twelve years, also 4th-6th grade English and high school French. Now that her children have grown,  she  has chosen to stay home and write.

To promote well-written children’s literature, Yvonne has developed Polliwog Pages, a website for parents, authors, and young writers. She has also sold some articles to Highlights for Children (High Five) and published a few e-books on Smashwords. She hopes to publish a missionary story and a middle-grade novel soon. Her prayer is to be used of the Lord, to encourage and bless others with her writing.  You can reach Yvonne at the following: 

My Portfolio
My Back Door
Polliwog Pages
Smashwords.com

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